Lammy's Lament

There are some things that you just cannot do, my tuneful friends.  One is to question any aspect of the "Official Edition" of the Holocaust.  Another is to try to link intelligence with genetics or race.  Imagine my shock then, my band of meadow dwellers, when David Lammy (here) writing in today’s Guardian appeared to be setting out to “prove” that British black Caribbean students are less intelligent than their white (and other non-white) counterparts.

Now, The Guardian made a valiant attempt to detract from this apparent slur by dragging out two other hacks to divert attention from the attacker.  The appropriately named Michael White (here) screamed that, "Lammy is right about the key barriers to opportunity" (note the mealy mouthed phraseology involved, my little green chums).  Then, the mischievously named Jeevan Vasagar lamented that, "Twenty-one Oxbridge Colleges took no black students last year" (here). Vasagar refers to, "Racial and social exclusion"; (the token) White lamely chimes in that class is as important as race in ensuring your exclusion from the Dreamy Spires.  

But, let's not dress this up or fall for distractions, my little chin rubbing friends; Lammy's hidden agenda, using simple logic, must be to make the case that British black Caribbeans are simply less intelligent than white and other non-white students.  That must be so since Oxbridge certainly admits a decent percentage of non-white students overall.  For example, The Telegraph (here), in February,2010, found that "Just over one-in-ten students at Oxbridge are non-white".  Further, Cambridge claimed that their black and Asian students accounted for 15% of the total student body in 2008/9.  Hardly the profile of ardent racists.  (I wonder how many one-eyed Romanian gypsies were admitted to British universities last year.  Maybe that too is another example of our self-loathing institutional racism.)

Since Oxbridge clearly does not select students based upon race, Lammy must be recognising that they do indeed admit students on merit.  Whilst allowing for the fact that elements other than academic achievement will  form part of the assessment of "merit", intellectual ability will clearly be the major determinant. Therefore, we can only conclude, my band of erudite grasshoppers, that Lammy's hidden message is really designed to target British black Caribbean students alone in a viscous example of racial profiling.

Of course, he tries to hide this all by obfuscation.  Lammy moans how difficult it was to extract this "data" from Oxbridge in the first place through the Freedom of Information (FOI) channel. I wonder if he "might come clean" and give us a full description of his information request.  For, if he were really setting out to "prove" racial bias, he must surely have asked for all relevant data relating to the racial mix of Oxbridge students.  As noted above, had he done so, his argument of racial discrimination would have been destroyed as quickly as the proverbial burning cross. Instead, Lammy chooses to be highly selective.  He mocks British black Caribbeans, "Applications are being made but places are not being awarded", he drones.  Hardly a startling conclusion given the  level of over-subscription.  He believes that Oxbridge should be "ashamed" of their student mix.  Imagine that, my bewildered friends, Oxbridge ashamed of their excellence and standards.  Lammy claims that they are "Hiding from the truth".  What is his justification for this?  He offers none.  

Lammy slithers on like a drunk down a muddy hillside.   "Oxbridge targets 21% of its Outreach events at independent schools", he crows.  Excellent, some 79% are then targeted at the state system.  The academic staff should mirror the diversity of the student body, is another claim.  By now, the deranged Lammy is starting to sound like a below average British black Caribbean student.

Pudgilius says, once more, that enough is enough.  It is time to stand up and challenge quota begging leaches like Lammy whose aim is to socially engineer everything in his own warped image.  Oxbridge is elitist; all true universities should be elitist.  Until that ceases to be a pejorative term, the likes of David Lammy will continue to spout their bile.  Sadly, that bile has held sway in our education system and, indeed, much of society as a whole, for far too long.

     

They Don't Get It!

Well my little grasshoppers, don’t the Brits just make you cringe, especially when they “don’t get it”.  The latest reminder of this is the recent humiliation relating to the “bid” to host the 2018 World Cup.  In fact, my chortling band of corn lovers, this extraordinary episode was enough to make anybody with a sense of pride and history ask, “Where did the English go”? 

In passing, Pudgilius notes once again that, in the after-match analysis, the messenger is immediately given the fault (admittedly not solely an English reflex, however).  After all, it was the media which pointed out that this was not a bidding process but a bribing process.  Now, you might have thought that, armed with this invaluable knowledge, the powers that be would have acted accordingly.  Is it really that difficult to arrange for the delivery of neatly severed horses' heads to each of the delegates, followed a little later by a brown suitcase full of used notes?  (Pudgilius always favours the stick and carrot approach.)  Instead, all we had was a feeble attempt with some dodgy looking designer handbags.  A number of these were apparently returned as they, presumably, were not full of gold bars (not that we could have supplied many of those as Gordon Brown sold most of our stocks some time ago).  Acting the cheapskate is not the way to nutmeg the descendants of Uncle Joe, however.

Then we have the presentation party itself.  Pudgilius asks if that was really the best we could come up with.  At least we had a couple of fakes on the rostrum.  Cameron might be of some use pitching for a public school fagging contest; he’s nowhere near intimidating enough to call the bluff of a bunch of well oiled sleazebags.  Then we had poor little World Cup Willie II (aka Prince William or "Big Willy").  While Pudgilius agrees that it was not a bad idea to whisk him away from the clutches of his doughy eyed stalker (Kreepy Katie) for a couple of days, was anybody fooled by his “passion for football” line?  No, my little green click warblers, this was nothing more than “new England” laid bare with all of its warts on show; shallow, fake, blustery but, most of all, missing the point.

So, what can we learn from this debacle, my brave crusaders?  Well, Pudgilius isn’t at all impressed with the mock indignation and outrage from certain quarters.  The English, we are told, are beyond double dealing and corruption; we play by the rules.  Pudgilius regards this as the hypocrisy of the loser.  After all, had WC Willie II compared notes with fat Uncle Andy (aka The Grand Old Duke of Pork), he would have learnt that corruption is the way of the world and it is only the bodies who investigate it that prevent any real progress being made (along with some nice little kick-backs).  Come to think of it, surely that would be the same Uncle Andy who regularly gallivants with some of the best known international gangsters.  What a calamity!  We send a novice when we could have had a real insider leading the team.   

So, Pudgilius raises his hat to the Russians.  They played it just right.  All the groundwork neatly laid, Putin is simply left to stroll onto the stage in order to collect the rather expensive prize.  No pretensions, no fawning, no grovelling followed by humiliation; nothing but good honest graft. 

Is Russia the only country which still knows how to play the “beautiful game”?

The Biggest Leak Of All

Casting an eye once more across the Atlantic, Pugilius reacts with incredulity as some in the US are actually calling for the execution of WikiLeaks whistleblowers!  Emerging from this same swamp is none other than the walking, DNA-warped comedy figure known as Sarah “In what regard, Charlie?” Palin, erstwhile Governor of Alaska & Presidential hopeful John McCain's running mate, who believes that Julian Assange (WikiLeaks founder) should be targeted “like the Taliban”.  Perhaps Sarah, “We’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies”, would like to call up her “fully sick boys” to do just that. 

As I’m sure you all know, grasshoppers, Palin redefines buffoonery.  She is a hard wired imbecile, a Groundhog Day slow motion verbal and mental train wreck.  She is the only “face” whose script needs no alterations in order to be lampooned.  Sarah sees Russia from her back yard, she supported a “bridge to nowhere” and yet, for all this, she could be the next President of the United States.   

You just don’t get leaks bigger than that.

Wait, Don't Shoot!

So, my little grasshoppers, calls have been made for Mervyn King (Governor of the Bank of England) to resign following his “revelations” to the US Ambassador in London, Louis Susman, that David Cameron and George Osborne “lacked experience”. 

It is a time honoured tradition, my brave grass nibblers, that, when all else fails, one attacks the messenger in order to obscure the message.    Pugilius prefers to face squarely the issue at hand.  It is in that spirit that he now takes a look at King’s proposition. 

First of all, let’s start by saying that none of this would have been news to the esteemed Mr. Susman.  After all, Barry Soetoro (stage name Barack Obama) had already labelled the helium-filled Cameron a lightweight after an initial, brief meeting.  No doubt Susman might also have read the same thing over and over again on ConservativeHome prior to the election. 

But are we being fair? After all, Cameron’s CV isn’t totally blank.  Pursuant to Eton and Oxford (can you still buy degrees from Oxford?) Cameron joined the Conservative Research Department (a veritable brains trust).  He then became a “Special Advisor” before being bestowed a Directorship at Carlton Communications (all those connections).  Enough weight there to keep an average helium balloon firmly grounded.  What about George Osborne?

Oh dear.  Not even trace gases here, lightweight or otherwise.  Osborne’s “experience” seems to consist of a brief stint entering the names of the deceased on a database for the NHS (admittedly useful when fiddling the electoral register, much less use when running an economy).  A prospective career in journalism was then cut short when the boy turned instead to the Conservative Party (always a smart move for any baronet-in-waiting).

So, there we have it folks; conclusive evidence that these lightweights are, indeed, wholly lacking in experience.   Don’t know about you, truth seekers, but Pugilius might have taken the same tack as King,  After all, his own credibility would have been instantly destroyed had he claimed that these two dreamers were likely to come up with a coherent plan.

But, hold on grasshoppers, we can’t leave it there.  In the interests of balance, don’t we need to look at the other side of the coin?  Pugilius has done just that and takes the line that Mervyn King shouldn’t resign due to stating the obvious, instead, he should resign because he’s useless.  Yes, my low yield account holding chums, Mervyn King is unfit for purpose. 

Perhaps instead of being caught unawares by the crisis in global credit markets, by his own admission, someone might have nudged the arrogant, sour faced toad and pushed the regular reports from the Bank for International Settlements (BIS) or the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC) under his porcine nose.  These would have highlighted the massive growth in non-market traded, speculative derivatives held (and “priced”) by the banks.  The gruff waffler may then have noticed that the notional value of these derivatives had exploded since 2000 and was now many times the size of global GDP.  If all of this proved a bit much to absorb, the pompous prevaricator might at least have convened a meeting where the significance of that data could have been explained to him.  Armed with that knowledge, and aware that he had contributed greatly to his own debt-fuelled bubbles,  the vainglorious chair warmer might then have had at least one eye on the major source of global systemic risk through the bottom of the champagne glass. 

Students Are Revolting!

Pudgilius agrees that students are revolting but thinks they have a point. 

Whilst the pen may be mightier than the sword, sometimes the sword just gets the job done.  (Neither Pudgilius nor his associates advocate the use of violence.)   But, my little corn shakers, how else are our bright young things meant to react to the final swinging of the wrecking ball with Ludditesque zeal against the already shattered edifice of higher education? 

Pudgilius regards access to a higher education system based upon ability to pay as the ultimate betrayal of the fundamental ethos of education itself.  Indeed, it is the essence of a dynamic society to ensure that those with ability, regardless of background and means, have the opportunity to succeed.  That opportunity should, of course, be embedded right through the food chain. 

Before the prolonged assault on education in this country, which saw the entire system turned into the front line in a spite-fuelled social engineering experiment, bright pupils from poor backgrounds had a genuine prospect of upward social mobility.  Entirely through their own efforts, pupils could improve their lot.  Yes, my friends, the education system was selective; the brightest went to Grammar schools, by and large, but not exclusively, the gateway to university education. 

Perversely, the achievements of the able acted not as a spur for educationalists to ensure the highest quality of education and training for all others, based upon ability, but served as a red rag to the zealous, snorting, mean-spirited bull which sought to enforce the appearance of equality for all.  This fundamental assault has progressed for decades without break or hindrance.     

Pudgilius says enough is enough and demands a return to an education system which rewards ability and one which maximises the opportunities for all to develop to their maximum potential.  He calls for the pre-eminence of genuine universities to be restored, properly funded and resourced, and the demise, or total reformation, of bogus institutions of “extended enrolment”.  Pudgilius calls for the restoration of full grants for all university students and an end to the invidious system of “ability to pay”.    

Meanwhile, “hold that Nuremberg trial!” is the cry as Pudgilius witnesses the rise of a new brand of fascism.  With the old NF all but a distant memory and the BNP laughably crumbling from within, a new breed of right wing mutant has evolved in the form of the EDL. 

No more anti-Semitic, racially-based platform for them, the EDL is “open to all”; all, that is, except “radical Islamists”.  Pudgilius looks on bemused as the heavily tattooed, knuckle-dustered hand extends to the Jewish, Sikh and Hindu communities, urging them to unite in a common cause.   Before anybody can shout, “arbeit macht frei”, the EDL has announced its very own Jewish Division.  Pudgilius is left wondering whether the EDL really can prove that your enemy’s enemy truly is your shaven-headed, balaclava-wearing, pick axe wielding best friend. 

Welcome, Grasshoppers

Well, hello my little grasshoppers; welcome to the virtual home of Pudgilius, your source of wisdom and insight.

Today, Pudgilius is scanning the news. And what exciting times! In fact busy times for Pudgilius, as he faces the prospect of ploughing through the 250,000 leaked documents.

So, what do we make of Wikileaks, my grass munching chums? So far, according to the Guardian derived snippets and other innuendo, we learn, well, nothing really:  Gordon Brown is psychotic & paranoid (already testified to by his own staff), David Cameron is a gullible lightweight (amply highlighted on ConservativeHome, no less, well before the last election) and Prince Andrew, the philandering fat boy, is slithering in and out of places where he really should be keeping his tight little mouth shut. (Poor boy never learnt the basic lesson that it's better to keep your mouth shut and have everyone think you're a fool rather than open it and remove all doubt.)  Various other notables are described in appropriate terms (all of which have been well documented and aired before).

Now, folks, don't know about you but, this is hardly breathtaking news to Pudgilius.  In fact, if our dear old American friends held anything other than these views on all concerned, I'd be pretty worried.  As for Hillary ordering US diplomats to spy on UN diplomats, hell, I'd do the same damn thing.  Yes, folks, I'd want their DNA, fingerprints, iris scans, credit card details and hair follicle tests to boot. (Any truth in the rumour Hillary collected David Milliband's DNA personally?) For these are the same duplicitous, double-crossing, lying back stabbers whom our own duplicitous, double-crossing, lying back-stabbers have to deal with.  You really can't have enough dirt when you're swimming in slime.

But, can't see too much to put lives at risk here. However, my little infotruth-seeking warriors, don't rely upon "the press" (aka MSM) to reveal the real juice.  Pick up your own spade and start digging; there are some juicy worms to be found.

Amid all the howls of outrage from governments around the globe, what will be revealed other than the ugly truth that governments, officials and "dignitaries" lie, scheme and betray the people who elected them (those who aren't elected are excused the last part)?  Again, is this really news?  Well, no, but confirmation is a nice thing to have.

But, let me return to my earlier question; what do we make of Wikileaks?  Well, there's certainly some tobacco in the pipe but, is it what it seems?

Pudgilius is keeping an open mind.  Through all of the releases to date, what appears to be missing is as interesting as what is there.  For all of the "information" and "intelligence" implicating Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Al-Qaeda (worthy of a Wikileak all to itself), et al, in the most dastardly of deeds, where is the same "information" and "intelligence" on Mossad, the "art students", Adam Pealrman (screen name, Adam Gadahn) and so on.  Should we really believe that the US insiders fall for the arcane while not seeing the obvious?  Hard to credit, my little grasshoppers.

So there we have it.  Mountains of information, and misinformation, if we care to look.  How to tell which is which?  That, my little grasshoppers, is the real test.  What you can be sure of is that nothing of real substance will be revealed through the comics masquerading as MSM.

Tune in again for more from the world of Pudgilius.